DANCING WITH THE STARS

I was thinking about exercising yesterday. I mean, really exercising on a regular basis. I thought about walking, biking and weight lifting, all good endeavors, and then Rachel said "Dance with Me. That was it, just "Dance with Me".

The thought amused me greatly, because Rachel was many wonderful things, but a good dancer was not one of them. She was clumsy, gawky, goofy-looking when she danced. She never quite "got" it. She was an amazing singer, though, and often I see Rachel with other stars, Elvis, Frank, or my favorite, my dad, throwing her head back and laughing and singing with gusto, beautiful duets. I can understand the singing, but dancing? I didn't think much more about it.

Today, I was driving home from shopping at Costco during my lunch work hour, and "Spirit in the Sky" came on KEARTH 101, and then Rachel said "Dance with Me" and then....she danced in all her glory for three wonderful minutes, she was just as goofy as always, wearing jeans with a short top on, her beautiful red hair flying in the wind, she was dancing and flying with absolutely no grace at all!

How can that be? Aren't the angels like Rachel, and she is an angel if anyone is, supposed to be graceful, gorgeous, ethereal creatures with waltzing as their preferred mode of dance? I don't think so, I think they are supposed to be like it says in the Lord's prayer "on earth as it is in heaven". They are supposed to be who they are. And Rachel danced with abandon and joy since the time she was a little bitty baby, never caring how dumb she looked, and never believing anyone who said she did look dumb.

I'm ready, I'm ready baby. The next time you tell me to Dance, I will Dance! I will leap into the air, I will shake my booty, I will boogaloo, I will skate, I will do the Freddy. I will dance with joy, and I won't care what anyone says or thinks, I will dance with you and feel the love you have for me, and know the joy you now have. I will dance thru the tears, and fears, and pain. Yes, baby, just ask, I won't hesitate. I will Dance with you, Rachel.

St. Paddy's Day 2009

I was singing Danny Boy on the karaoke in honor of St. Paddy's Day and starting crying, of course. In itself, it is one of the most painfully sad songs in the universe, and I course I started thinking about Rachel.

I have my beautiful blondies, Keturah and Sarah, but only one redhead, Rachel. The red hair has been in my family for generations. My Grandma, me, Rachel, Jacob. The Scottish in us.

I keep writing about how I am ready to greet the world, and then I stop and think. I will NEVER greet the world anymore, for I no longer feel that this world is my home, for how can I have a home without Rachel nearby?

Vince has decided to keep my red-haired sweetie Jacob away from me for the time being. Go figure. I will never figure him out. Jacob is a shining star and he keeps me connected to the future. I miss him.

Sweet Baby.